Index
Quantum Coyote
Chronicles of the Cake Stop
Cast of Characters
Wherein we list and describe those encountered in the various volumes of the Cake Stop, for the edification and elucidation of the noble reader.



The League of Gentlemen Cyclists:

Gunner - the Adonis of two wheels
Tim Pike - the charming Mr Pike
EvilChuffy - a scallywag with a heart of gold
Flying Monkey - guru and all round good egg
Rigby - a true gentleman
Derall - another Founder of the League of Gentlemen Cyclists
Steelman - the Teutonic master of pleasure
FatBloke - no longer wanted by the Marine Mammals Defence Fund
Sheriff Ron Strutt - keeping order in time of peril
The Archaeologist - master of holes and the Don's right hand man
Yenrod - The Archaeologist's personal bodyguard
Macleach - Keeper of the Sacred Irn Bru
Muckspreader - Deputy Sheriff
Hairyhippy - Chief Gardner
Gordon - proclaimer of the obvious things that other men miss
Shen - full of oriental martial promise
ZimZum42 - a proven companion of exotic taste and splendour
Chris Land - not as slow as he says he is
Nuttycyclist - not fruity, you know
Bardsandwarriors - the Eddie Izzard of the Cake Stop
Gonzo - the boy of the zebra stripes
Bomber Castle - "If you can fly a Sopwith Camel, you can fly anything!"
TooMuchCake - "There's no such thing."
Somersetbiker - Butcombe's biggest fan
AndyGates - wearer of a big, gay hat
Brock - a gentle, quiet soul
Withers - the Godfather of C+
NeedAnotherGear - a lunatic in lycra
Yardstick - even more of a speed freak than NAG
Evil Kiwi - actually quite nice really
AndyW - he of the yellow Saracen
Fixedwheelnut - who needs more than one?
Delgado - with the rather fetching headscarf
Spiderman - NOT Peter Parker
Cyclemonkey - the pedalling ape
Newbie - the Sir Gawain of the Cake Stop
Spesh - car customiser extraordinaire


The Aquatic Fowl on Bikes Society:

Cuddy Duck - founder of AFBS
Pingu and Mrs Pingu - Also of the Pinniped Preservation Project
Seagull
J.L Seagull


not forgetting

MingMong
Shane
Gordy
LamBO
Groucho
Oldnewbiker
Rafletcher
Jimbo
Craig0201
Alans
Wilf
Terry
Simplesbharris
WeirdNeville
Jokeyjon
Alchemy
Stedly
Cookiemonster
Ridgerider
Laurence
Backtocycling


The Intrepid Sorority:

Ravenbait - the High Priestess of the Temple
Kathy Pike - a plucky and courageous gentlewoman
Clare - she who runs the Cake Stop Bar and Grill
Redshift - another plucky heroine with an eye for a sword
Kitzy - a fair and innocent young maiden
Peliroja - part of the London massive
MrsDolcetto - Evil Bitch Queen of the High Street, but only to her friends
Bagonabike - self-deprecating but really rather lovely
Ariadne - another babe on a bike
Arellcat - one of the Windcheetah Warriors
Charlotte - handy with a banana
Mogden - ever cheerful
Mrs Cyclemonkey - married to Mr Cyclemonkey


Also starring:

The Triple Goddess of Cycling - an oasis of sanity in a world gone mad
Aeroflash - Ascended to the side of the Goddess and putting on a good show for a dead person
Colin the Chief Controller - a fat goblin
Mrs Colin - a gentlewoman goblin married to Mr Colin
Helga - Temple Maiden and Steelman's latest pleasure
Thought - a raven
Memory - a raven
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Pike - a pair of rascally ferrets
Captain Heinekenquaffer Fatarse - the Irn Bru Warrior's dreaded alter ego
The Hollow Man - an old chum of Ravenbait's with some peculiar habits
Wolverine - a hairy little man
Kehaar - a seagull with a Napoleon complex
Captain Jack Sparrow - the greatest pirate in the world
Westley - once the Dread Pirate Roberts
Lance Armstrong - the God of Le Tour
The Humungous - gone but not forgotten
Van Helsing - secret assassin for the Vatican
Various members of exotic pantheons of a pagan nature
Additional members of the League of Gentlemen Cyclists and the Intrepid Sorority
Temple Maidens
Temple Guards
Assorted ineffable denizens of A-Time

The Narrator