Just as Jack is about to speak, the doors crash open and in rushes Road-
runner.
"Come quick!" he says. "Come see what has happened!"
Jack closes his mouth again with a slightly-affronted and bemused frown as everyone gets up and
wanders out the door. Across the cycle park there has suddenly appeared a ramshackle building, little
more than a garden shed, really, with a splodgy, badly painted sign above it.
"Bugger me!" says Clare, standing with hands on hips and looking quite cross. There are already some
cyclists standing outside it with things like eccles cakes and millionaire's shortbread. Pingu sees Clare
watching and sheepishly wanders across.
"Was just checking it out," he says, scuffing at the ground with his feet like a naughty
schoolboy.
TimC starts making a list of the people they can see buying comestibles from this interloper.
"The effrontery!" he says. "Ravenbait isn't going to be best pleased."
"Never mind her!" Clare retorts. "I'm not best pleased. This is my Cake Stop. If it wasn't for me
none of you would be here, including that thing over there!"
"Don't worry Clare," says Kathy, giving her a hug. "We still love you. I'm sure his tea and cake can't
possibly be as good as yours. When RB gets back she'll put a curse on him or something so he can't go
out without getting a zillion punctures until he apologises to you for daring to set up shop
here."
"I'm not sure I'm prepared to wait that long. Where is she anyway?"
"Greece," Aeroflash replies. "Or was when she sent this telegram. Gods know — probably
literally — where she is now."
"I have worse news," says Flying Monkey, coming slowly over from Campaign. "We have another
interloper."
"What?!"
"Mr Safe Speed himself."
"Oh that's just great. That's all we need." Clare sits on the steps with a humph.
"I doubt he'll stray from Campaign," Nuttycyclist says comfortingly, watching the goings on with a set
of field glasses so that he isn't tempted to get involved too closely. "Besides. Howard seems to have it
covered."
"Is that one of RB's tulpas having a go as well?" Aeroflash asks, squinting a little to try to make it
out.
"Either that or her Old Man's been indulging in cloning experiments this time." FM replies. "Gods, I
hope it's a tulpa," he adds with feeling.
"Um," Captain Jack coughs politely. They turn to look at him. He is swaying a little, white teeth
showing in a grin, one finger raised. "Excuse me ladies and gents, but I did say I 'ave a proposition for
you."
Clare throws a final, filthy look at the garden shed on the other side of the cycle park, making a mental
note to see if she can persuade some of the more feisty of the Sheffield stands to take it apart after
closing time. "Oh, come on then. I'm not going to waste any worrying time about some invader selling
cheap Earl Grey when Captain Jack probably has something far more dangerous for me to worry
about."
"That's the spirit," TimC says, and they go inside.
* * *
Half a world away, or possibly no distance at all, Fingal waits
in the middle of a strip of fawn-coloured tarmac at the top of a rise on a series of rolling hills and
valleys, waiting while his mistress scans the landscape. A clown passes, noting their presence but not
altering his course at all, each giant boot almost the same size as the hills over which he is striding,
painted grin fixed in a rictus of greasepaint upon his round face with its barely-visible, pinpoint
eyes.
"Come on Logan," she mutters to herself. She had not asked him to come. When the Big O had called
her away from that rather lovely picnic she had not been expecting to find the hairy little mutant with
the adamantium bones waiting for her just inside the border territory. He had intercepted Thought and
Memory on their way to find her and made them let him tag along. When the Priestess had greeted his
presence with surprise and a query as to what in the name of Hel (who happened to be a close personal
friend, by the way) he was doing following her around, he had grinned around his cigar.
"Hard to keep my edge up there with nothin' more threatenin' than bunny rabbits and bambis," he had
said.
So now she is waiting, with Fingal starting to shift restlessly underneath her, looking at the long,
swooping descent ahead of them and keen to be underway.
There is a croak from somewhere to her right, then a hoot. The raven is too far away to be anything
more than a black speck against the kaleidoscopic sky, but the Priestess can recognise Memory even at
that distance, and make out the message.
"About bloody time too," she says with relief, and lets Fingal have his head.
* * *
Captain Jack has managed to find a bottle of rum from somewhere and takes a
swig.
"A birdy tells me," he begins.
"Was it a little yellow birdy or a big black birdy?" Peliroja interrupts immediately.
"It was a reasonably sized bird that wasn't a seagull, all right?" Jack tells her, nettled.
"What colour was it though?" Charlotte asks.
"Well, as it 'appens, it did 'appen to be somethin' of a darker shade," the pirate admits. The cyclists
exchange meaningful glances. "But that's by the by. The important part is what it said."
"Which was?" Bagonabike prompts.
"I'm gettin' to that bit, darlin'." Captain Jack takes another swig from his bottle and makes a noise
through his teeth as the potent liquor burns its way down his throat. "I wouldn't light that if I were
you," he tells Ashtrayhead as an aside. "It's quite good stuff, this." Indeed, the rum has a fire-retardant
cap, currently sitting on the table. "Anyway. This little bird tells me that our Westley has gone off to
rescue Buttercup from the Sea Org, right and he knows because he heard it from a seagull by the name
of Francesca. I was thinkin' that you lovely folks might like to give me a hand to help Westley in
rescuin' his lovely lady, what with him helpin' you out with the zombies an' everythin'. What say
you?"
"The Sea Org?" Shen asks dubiously. "Don't they have things like sharks with frikkin' laser beams on
their heads?"
"Can't say I rightly know," Captain Jack replies, rubbing his beard. "But I do know they have a lot of
very rich people who obviously have too much money and need to be relieved of some of the terrible
burden."
"What makes you say that?" FatBloke asks him.
"Well, if they spend their money gettin' zombie powder put into their faces with needles, then
obviously that money needs to go to a more deservin' cause."
"That cause being you," the handsome Mr Pike observes dryly.
"Exactly! "Captain Jack beams. "I couldn't have put it better myself." He looks around. "So who's with
me then?"
"As long as we're back for the Essex ride," FatBloke cautions.
"I'm game!" says Charlotte delightedly.
"Can we get through A-Time all right without Raven?" Brock asks querulously.
"We've managed before," Kathy tells him. "We just need to make sure the back half of the tandem
doesn't get left behind."
"And maybe by the time we get back Mr SS will have got bored and Campaign will have calmed down
again," Ukiboy grins.
"Excellent," Captain Jack grins, rubbing his hands together. "Now. Any chance of a lift?"
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